Narrator: From The Memoirs of Jud Shafter, K.F.D.A. Commando:
Jud: So there I was, tied up after my interrogation. But I kept my head, and looked for any weakness I could exploit.
Jud: If I could break free from my bonds, I'd be able to sound an alarm, and my squad would come down on the enemy like a ton of rock on a pile of manure.
Jud: And then I found that exploitable weakness I needed. I had been tied up with toilet paper.
Jud: There was a lot of it, but that didn't matter.
Narrator: Jud neglects to mention that it took him well over 15 minutes to free himself.