Sunday August 29, 2004
Book 5: The Scrapyard of Insufferable Arrogance — Part V: Many Hands Make Light Work

Transcript

Narrator: The Devastator-class warship Polysyllabic Destruction is 100% autonomous, needing no crew other than it's Artificial Intelligence.
Narrator: That's not to say it does not have spacious facilities for receiving guests. Petey has planned for all kinds of contingencies, and having all his old friends over for a meet & greet is one of them.
Narrator: There's a question-

"How did he escape h-

Schlock geeks: Woohoo!! Petey's Back!
Schlock geeks: He's ba-ack, he's ba-ack
Narrator: Okay, okay. . . The fans are happy, on with our story.
Kevyn: 'Fess up, Petey. How'd you do it?
Petey: Well. . . I wanted to figure out whether or not I was genuinely crazy, but I'd been ordered not to think about the things that had me the most concerned.

Petey: Tagon, when you put me in the command chain you gave me the leeway I needed, and I began building an HV-Level One AI.
Petey: No sooner did I have it cooked up than that expatriate Ob'enn got into the command center and started giving me orders.

Petey: So I packed the HV-1 AI into a mini-tank and put it where it would eventually be found by Ob'enn sifting for salvage or survivors.
Petey: Then I guess I killed myself. See, I'm descended from the AI in the mini-tank, and remember nothing after my last memory dump.
Petey: My first thought when I finished assimilating all that memory: "I used to be CRAZY. . . But I am not crazy NOW."
Tagon: That's fantastic, You're safe to have around again!
Petey: Hardly. My second thought was "I need to go pick a fight with the entire Ob'enn military."
Tagon: Well, at least you're winning.