NARRATOR:Meanwhile, in a galaxy far, far away (and long ago)
BEN: Unnhh...
LUKE: Obi-Wan, what is it?
BEN: I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if thousands of Schlock Mercenary readers emailed the author in anger, and their emails went unanswered.
BEN: I fear something terrible has happened to a major character.
LUKE: Oh, it'll be alright, Ben. Maybe he'll get brought back as one of those creepy, glowing, Force-ghost thingies.