Sunday, May 20, 2007
Note: This is the web archive of Schlock Mercenary: The Body Politic, which was nominated for a Hugo award for "Best Graphic Story" on March 20th of 2009.

Hugo voters may wish to read this book as a PDF. That PDF is found here, and is ad-free. The Body Politic has not yet appeared in print. The PDF is an early draft of the print compilation.





Transcript for Sunday, May 20, 2007
Narrator: Yoming. . . A blue-green gem of a world with civil strife so deep-seated that they sought to end it by installing an alien as their king.
Narrator: . . .A fat, Human alien once known as U.N.S. General Levaughn Matsui "Hugo" Xinchub.
Apnon: Congratulations on your coronation, King Xinchub. This day you have returned peace and prosperity to Yoming.
Xinchub: Oh, put your fist in it, Apnon. The revolution isn't over yet.
Narrator: The Mercenary Warship Touch-And-Go, whose Captain sold Xinchub into slavery.
Captain Tagon: They made him King? Are those people CRAZY?!?
Petey: He ended the civil war you dumped him in the middle of. His coronation was two hours ago.
Petey: Now I need you to extract him safely before somebody kills him.
Captain Tagon: They've had, what, a year to kill him? I hoped they'd take care of that a day or two after I sold him.
Petey: Captain, if you had really wanted General Xinchub dead, you would have killed him instead of selling him.
Captain Tagon: What are you talking about? Of course I really wanted him dead. But I also wanted to get paid.
Petey: You wanted to have your cake and eat it too.
Captain Tagon: Well, yeah. Because that's what cake is for.


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