Schlock: I've got extra eyes. I can shoot in two directions at once.
Elf: Sergeant, when you fire your plasgun in one direction the only safe place for friendlies is behind you.
Elf: And that's giving the word "safe" a real workout.
Elf: If I give you two plasguns, and you fire in multiple directions, the only safe place for the rest of us would be inside you.
Schlock: I promise not to chew.
Elf: I'm still gonna have to say no.