Howard’s LTUE Schedule Friday, February 5th, 2010 As promised here are the details of Howard’s LTUE presentation schedule Thursday Feb 11 1:00 PM: Talking art Howard Tayler, Nathan Hale and Bryan Beus will talk about art. Pretty straightforward, right?Bring your questions to ask these two excellent artists (and Howard.) 2:00 PM: The Howard and Bob Show When Bob suggested to Charlie that he wanted to be on a panel with Howard for a reprise of “The Howard and Bob Show,” Charlie took him a bit too literally. Howard Tayler and Bob Defendi promise to be both entertaining and educational. Beyond that, all bets are off. 6:00 PM: Drawing Wizards Join Nathan Hale, Brian Hailes, Sarah Seiter, Howard Tayler, and Bobbie Berendson as they discuss and demonstrate a bit of wizardry. Drawing wizards goes way beyond the pointy hats, folks. Friday Feb 12 9:00 AM: How to become an idea factory: Where to get ideas and how to go from idea to story. Clint Johnson, Larry Correia, James Dashner, Brandon Sanderson, Karen Hoover, and Howard Tayler discuss that most curious commodity, the authorial idea. 7:00 PM: Writing Comics and Webcomics Learn the particulars of writing for comics with professionals from both the traditional comic book arena and the world of webcomics: Jake Black, Brian Hailes, Howard Tayler, and Emily Sorensen Saturday Feb 13 9:00 AM: The Future of the Art of Comics Join this panel of comic creators as they attempt to scry tomorrow’s comic art from the entrails of today’s Wacom tablets, Cintiq monitors, and inexpensive color printing (among other things.)  Emily Sorensen, Brian Hailes, Jake Black, Howard Tayler. (Note: No actual Cintiq entrails will be present.) 1:00 PM: Signing 4:00 PM: Writing Excuses Panel and Podcast Recording Brandon Sanderson, Dan Wells, and Howard Tayler discuss their podcast and record an episode, perhaps with the help of a guest author or two. 5:00 PM: Making a Living as an Artist (2 hours) This one has a huge list of panelists with a wide variety of experience as working artists. If you’re looking to find work (or make your own) in this field, this panel is a must see. Steven Keele, Kevin Keele, Joshua Keele, Brian Hailes, Jessica Douglas, Sarah Seiter, Nathan Hale, Howard Tayler, Brian Beus, and Sandra Tayler. And by the end of all that, Howard will be tired. But not too tired to take a Sharpie marker to the inside of your book. Filed under Conventions, Events | 6 Comments »

Dear Mister Bezos: Are You Still All Mad and Stuff? Thursday, February 4th, 2010 Dear Mister Bezos, I heard that you got all mad at Macmillan over electronic book pricing, or something like that, and last weekend you made all of Macmillan’s titles disappear from your store. Then I heard they came back, and I thought everything was okay. But they’re not back, not really. I can only get books by guys like my friends Brandon Sanderson and John Scalzi through third-party sellers. This makes me sad, because you still sell my books, and I used to think it was so awesome that somebody could put my comics in a shopping cart alongside cool-awesome science fiction and fantasy from Tor (a Macmillan imprint.)  I still get a little thrill when I think that maybe some Amazon shopper will open a box with a Robert Jordan book in it, and it will be sitting on top of The Tub of Happiness. Today I took down all the ads I run for you guys. My fans might think this is a big sacrifice, but I should tell them it’s really not. It’s pizza-money. I’ll still let you sell my books, though. Making you click all those buttons on your big database would just be spiteful. Besides, I figure that’s why it’s taking you so long to get all my friends’ books back in your store — too many database buttons! I guess you should have patented that “one-click” thingy so it works inside your giant fortress! Anyway, I hope you’re not mad at my friends the authors. They didn’t do anything wrong, I swear. And please let me know when you’re done being mad at Macmillan, and Tor, and the rest of those publisher people. Then I’ll click my database buttons and make your ads come back, and everybody can be happy and be friends and buy stuff from you. –Howard ps. those shirts I bought from you were not shiny enough. I’m sending them back. Filed under Industry News, Internet | 13 Comments »

At Best, Inappropriately Expressed Enthusiasm Thursday, February 4th, 2010 I blogged about the final round of the easily-spoofed Washington Post poll, and I made a mistake. I mentioned that it was easily spoofed. This was not meant as encouragement to spoof, but apparently it was taken as such. For this I am sorry. You see, when I blogged at 9:15pm local time, <i>Schlock Mercenary</i> had around 120 votes. Three hours later Schlock had 211,000. That, for those who are interested in this sort of thing, is more unique IP addresses than hit my own website in the course of an entire month. I don’t for one minute believe that more than 1,000 of those votes are legitimate. And by curious coincidence, during the one minute for which I’m not believing, about another 1,000 votes arrived. I’m embarrassed and saddened. It’s much more fun to mock an easy-to-rig popularity contest when it’s not one of your own fans doing the rigging. You see, now if tens of thousands of Penny Arcade fans visit the poll (and they will,) they will associate “Schlock Mercenary” with dishonesty. Whoever you are, mister or missus Inappropriate Expressor of Enthusiasm, you are damaging my name with your antics. Worse still, you are making all of the smart, discerning, tastefully dressed, and bewitchingly attractive <i>Schlock Mercenary</i> fans look dingy and disreputable. Shame on you. I blogged about the final round of the easily-spoofed Washington Post poll, and I made a mistake. I mentioned that it was easily spoofed. This was not meant as encouragement to spoof, but apparently it was taken as such. For this I am sorry. You see, when I blogged at 9:15pm local time, Schlock Mercenary had around 120 votes. Three hours later Schlock had 211,000. That, for those who are interested in this sort of thing, is more unique IP addresses than hit my own website in the course of an entire month. I don’t for one minute believe that more than 1,000 of those votes are legitimate. And by curious coincidence, during the one minute for which I’m not believing, about another 1,000 votes arrived. I’m embarrassed and saddened. It’s much more fun to mock an easy-to-rig popularity contest when it’s not one of your own fans doing the rigging. You see, now if tens of thousands of Penny Arcade fans visit the poll (and they will) they will associate “Schlock Mercenary” with dishonesty. See what you did? Whoever you are, mister or missus Inappropriate Expressor of Enthusiasm, you are damaging my name with your antics. Worse still, you are making all of the smart, discerning, tastefully dressed, and bewitchingly attractive Schlock Mercenary fans look dingy and disreputable. Shame on you. Filed under Uncategorized | 24 Comments »

Quick! Before Anyone Notices! Wednesday, February 3rd, 2010 The “Comic Riffs” guys at the Washington Post have done two wise things: 1) They’ve selected Schlock Mercenary as one of their seven finalists, showing taste and discretion. 2) They’ve renamed their easily-spoofed popularity contest “your favorite webcomic of the past decade,” so the losers won’t feel like they’ve missed something historic. Go vote now! Knock Schlock into first place before anybody notices! (We’ll finish in 6th, regardless. The Schlock Mercenary audience, while discerning, intelligent, and desirable is a small bunch compared to what’s listed there.) You brought in 10,079 votes last time. That’s enough for me to kill an attorney drone, but only just barely. Honestly, I didn’t think you’d pulled it off until I checked the final count this evening. I hadn’t actually planned on writing attornicide into the Mallcop Command arc, but I am a man of my word. I’ll make it happen in March. I don’t have a bribe in mind for this last round of voting. Feel free to suggest things. Filed under Uncategorized | 15 Comments »

Howard’s Updated 2010 Appearance Schedule Wednesday, February 3rd, 2010 Last October we announced the Howard Tayler 2010 Appearance Schedule. A few things have changed since then, so it is time to post the new, improved, and updated Howard Tayler 2010 Appearance Schedule. February 11-13: LTUE, Provo, Utah — This is next week and it is currently the only event Howard is scheduled to attend in Utah. The annual Life The Universe and Everything  Symposium is held on BYU campus. Howard will be attending and presenting all three days. (We’ll be posting a detailed presentation schedule early next week.) Sandra will also be attending and presenting. Her presentation schedule can be found here. LTUE event is FREE to anyone who walks in and asks for a badge. Other notable guests include Brandon Sanderson and ILM wizard Marty Brenneis. LTUE is always packed with excellent writing and artistic advice. It is well worth the trip to attend. (Note this is a symposium, not a convention. Costumes are not allowed on campus.) April 30-May 2: Penguicon, Troy, Michigan — This event has long been one of Howard’s favorite conventions to attend. He is pleased to return this year as an Artist Guest of Honor. Other GOHs include Spider Robinson and Karl Schroeder. Penguicon combines the best of Sci Fi/ Fantasy Fandom and Linux Geekery. Regular features are ice cream made with liquid nitrogen, sword play demonstrations by Aegis Consulting, and the amazing Chaos Machine. Sandra will be attending with Howard. May 28-31: Balticon, Baltimore, MD. Howard was delighted to receive an invitation to be a guest of this long running convention. This will be Howard’s one event on the East Coast for 2010. Other guests will include Tanya Huff, Dr. Thomas Holtz Jr., and a host of other excellent panelists and presenters. Howard has not had the privilege to attend this event before, but he expects to have a marvelous time. August 5-8: GenCon Indy, Indianapolis, Indiana — Howard intends to reprise his attendance at GenCon in 2010. He’ll have a table where he will hang out with Tracy Hickman and Curtis Hickman. There will be yet another action packed Killer Breakfast event and a good time will be had by all. There will also be acres of dealer’s room floor, non-stop gaming, and all the other cool events one expects from GenCon. The arrangements for DragonCon have fallen through, making an appearance there extremely unlikely. Howard has his eye on AussieCon in Melbourne, Australia, but the travel expenses involved make that event extremely tentative as well. There will be more specific scheduling details available for each of these events as they draw closer. Some of them may include non-convention related Schlocker meet-ups, or book launch parties. If an event is not listed, then it’s safe to say that you won’t find Howard there. If you want him at a convention near you, contact your local con and tell them to book him for 2011. Book early, we expect his 2011 calendar to fill up by October. Filed under Conventions, Events, News | 7 Comments »