July 05, 2003
Happy Independence Yesterdayentry,
Yesterday was July 4th, Independence Day, a national holiday here in the United States. That makes today "Independence Yesterday," I think.
Indeed, we are a lot less independent today than we were yesterday, assuming a sufficiently long value for "day." When you look at the legislation heaped upon us here in modern times, versus the pleasing dearth of political correctness 100 years ago you might find yourself hearkening back to the "good old days."
You'd be wrong. These are the good old days. Sure, sure, we've got problems, but we're dealing with them. We had problems 100 years ago, and we dealt with them. If you're longing for "the good old days," it's because the problems of 100 years ago have been SOLVED, and you've forgotten just how tough things were.
I really do NOT want to chop wood for 80 hours a year in order to heat my house for the winter. I'm not interested in medication-free childbirth. I like hospitals more than I like their alternatives. I'm happy to wear glasses. I'm pleased to own a dishwasher.
None of us are truly independent. We depend on each other for countless little things we take for granted. Somewhere in Spain (or maybe Taiwan) there's a man I've never met who made my boots. The bananas quietly rotting on my kitchen counter could not have been grown anywhere within 1000 miles of my house, and almost certainly originated much closer to the equator than I'm comfortable living (even for fresh-picked bananas.)
I embrace the United States of the 21st century. It, like most anything else of real value, is a work in progress. It's not perfect, but it's a darn sight better than a whole slew of possible alternatives.
In this celebratory spirit, I ended nine years of tradition yesterday by not hosting the Great White Clutter Stadium of Cheapskates Tailgate Picnic. I stayed home and barbecued with friends, instead. After dark, we lit off Utah-legal fireworks, and invented the "crackling tube of doom." (Take a 3' length of 1" PVC pipe, and feed three "magic whip" or "crackling whip" firework ribbons into it, leaving 1/3 of each whip protruding out the top. Twist the fuses together. Mount the tube 10 degrees shy of straight up, light the fuse, and stand back. The whips crackle normally for about 4 seconds, and then you get a fifteen-foot tall, roaring, crackling fountain of oh-my-goodness. Giggle. Repeat.)
So today is Independence Yesterday, and I'm feeling pretty good. I've got 12 magic whips left, and it will still be legal to light them off here in Utah for another 2 days.