June 28, 2001
How many distant-but-beloved relatives does YOUR mother-in-law bring to the party?My wife has six siblings, but that's not the issue here. Her mom has FIFTEEN siblings. In my wife's generation there are exactly 93 cousins. I think the number of 2nd cousins is fast approaching 200.
So let us assume 200 children under the age of 12, 93 semi-adult folk, half of them with spouses (46.5 spouses), and then seventeen couples of grandmotherly/fatherly age.
Why not fifteen couples? Well, because there were some divorces, and remarriages, and nobody wants to be left out.
I'm not going to do the math because I know not everyone is coming, but even with only a 20% turnout I suspect there are going to be WAY TOO MANY people camping up at this family reunion in Flaming Gorge, outside of Vernal, Utah. If I had my druthers, I'd go camping someplace else... like maybe my backyard. Throw some shrimp on the grill, sprawl out on the deck with a cold glass of Nesquik, and say something slovenly non-clever about 'roughing it.' But that's not where I'll be this weekend. Nope. I'll be up in Flaming Gorge with my wife, my children, my tent, and some 300 or so people I don't know.
I'm bringing a book or two. I REALLY need a vacation, and no family reunion is going to keep me from it.
While I'm away, why don't you go have a look at Spaz Labs. This strip has made me laugh out loud several times in the last month. I bet you'll have a great time, and you won't get dirty, you won't get burnt, and you'll sleep soundly at night.
I'll be thinking of you.