June 28, 2002

Friday June 28, 2002 • Howard Tayler

Not that I'm actually vacating, or anything. Mostly I'll be staying at home working the buffer up. Right now it's at 27, but I bet I can break 30 and STAY above 30 if I put my mind to it. I'll also be creating some PREMIUM-only pages for subscribers -- things like weekly archives, email subscription, concept art, and backstory notes. It's nothing the rest of the Schlock readers can't live without, but it'll still be good stuff. The delay has mostly been technical in nature, and I think I've figured those bits out.

In other news, the world is an increasingly scary place. Not only have families in San Diego and Salt Lake City had daughters abducted right from their homes, but now I've learned that there is a new threat. Some sicko in England has apparently trained a chimpanzee to burgle homes.

Oh, sure, you may think that this comparison is sick and wrong, or that the data is purely artifactual, but consider the TREND. How long will it be before the sickos are training the monkeys to abduct our children? We've all seen The Wizard of Oz and Planet of the Apes -- we know where this will lead. I mean, I'm all for chimpanzees and the other great apes (gorillas, orangutans, australians... I'm not sure of the full list) becoming productive members of society, since they already have more rights than many US citizens, but between the Mad Scientists and The Wicked Witch of The West, we are faced with a threat that we need to watch very carefully.

Now I've probably offended the Wiccans and the scientific community with this diatribe, but that's only because they need to clean house. I mean, we all know that the only reason there are sweepingly general stereotypes is because there is an element of truth to them. Where there's smoke, there's fire, right? Stereotypes mean you need to crack down! Why else would Utah spend so much energy putting polygamist Tom Green behind bars? (No, not the Canadian Tom Green, of Freddie Gets Fingered infamy, although I hear that he's next. We can only hope).

Okay, where was I?

Oh, yeah. Vacation. Too much time on my hands, obviously. I shouldn't be thinking. I should be working on the comic strip.