October 04, 2003

Saturday October 4, 2003 • Howard Tayler

Before I start talking about traffic here at schlockmercenary.com, I'd like to call attention to an upcoming appearance in Orlando, Florida. I will be appearing with Mark Mekkes (of Zortic) at Sci-Fi City in Orlando, Florida on Tuesday, October 28th. It will be an evening event, but I don't have the exact times, nor the exact address yet. I don't think we'll have any merchandise, but we WILL be cranking out sketches like the mighty-bad cartoonists we are. Those'll be free. I'll post more details in a few days.

Now, then... traffic. A couple of recent 'toons at PVP and Penny Arcade called my attention to the fact that Schlock Mercenary is not the number one site on the Internet. I was stunned, frankly. Not only that, but according to Alexa, we're down around number 700,000. See?

It occurred to me to research Alexa a little bit, and I found out that it gets its numbers in part from browsers that have the Alexa plug-in installed, tracking what sites get looked at. Obviously this skews data, because Schlockers are too smart to allow their privacy to be randomly compromised.

You're also too smart to allow your favorite web-comic (that's Schlock Mercenary, right? Please?) to be statistically pigeon-holed by random strangers. And that's where I ask for your help.

If you've got a computer that you don't mind having Alexa track websites on, or if you use multiple browsers and wouldn't mind having Alexa track IE, install the Alexa toolbar. (NOTE: this link will not auto-install -- it's safe to click through, I promise) Then use that computer to visit schlockmercenary.com lots. Every day. I suspect that if even TEN of you did this, we could break the 100,000 mark.

If you object to Alexa on one general principle or another, you don't need to play this game with us. If you think that somehow I'm pandering to Jeff Bezos and Amazon by doing this, well, maybe I am. If you think I'm a stat-whore, sullying myself for personal gain, I have two words for you, and one of them is "mercenary." If I'm going to take over the world, I need to do some pandering and stat-whoring in the early stages. Jeff'll be pandering to me, eventually, right?

"How," you may be asking, "is this supposed to drive traffic to schlockmercenary.com?"

Good question. I have no idea. I suspect it won't. If you've got ideas on other ways you could help send bazillions* of readers my way, let me know and I'll post them.

*NOTE: One Schlocker told me that a "bazillion" is a context-dependent number. If you're talking jellybeans, it could be hundreds of thousands. For gunshot wounds, maybe 37.