If today is your first day reading Schlock Mercenary, you're in luck. Everybody ELSE who reads this strip had to slog through 1000 strips' worth of back-story in order to get caught up to the beginning of "Book I," but you, you lucky dawg, get the chance to fast-track it with Schlock Mercenary Basic Training. In just six short pages you'll meet the key characters, learn what makes them tick, and figure out everything you needed to know in order to begin the story from the 1001st strip. "Why," you ask, "do I want to begin from the 1001st strip.?" "Because the artwork sucks a lot harder for the first 1000 strips than it does for the second 1000, that's why." The first Schlock Mercenary compilation will begin with the 1001st strip. If it didn't, children might pick the book up and expose themselves to my early artwork. The thought of those virgin eyes running with bloody tears makes my heart stop. Really, it does. Besides, the books wouldn't sell very well. So there you go. The barracks are filling up for Schlock Mercenary Basic Training, but since they're VIRTUAL barracks, there's always plenty of room. And I promise that there will be no PT required. (I know, I know... it hardly qualifies as Basic without PT, but I'm trying to raise an army on the cheap here. I can't afford to be discouraging the recruits. Pipe down, you, or I might just start asking for push-ups.)
