Incredibles 2 Tuesday June 19, 2018

Before I begin my review, a public service announcement: Incredibles 2 may trigger seizures in sufferers of photosensitive epilepsy¹, and may in other ways afflict anyone who is sensitive to flashing lights. Seriously. There’s a fight scene in a room full of patterned strobes, and in the darkened theater there will be no… Read more

The Jungle Book Tuesday April 19, 2016

There’s no way to film the Mowgli stories from Rudyard Kipling’s The Jungle Book absent the influence of the 1967 Disney classic, which casts a long shadow. Several such films have been made, and most of them didn’t work very well at all. 2016’s The Jungle Book does work, however, and it does… Read more

Annihilation Sunday February 25, 2018

Annihilation did some magnificent things, but ultimately it didn’t tell a story that I enjoyed very much. I can’t complain at all about the acting, the effects, the camera work, or the sound design, because everything was spot on, and much of it was outstanding. What was missing, however, was a surprising-yet-inevitable… Read more

Ready Player One Thursday March 29, 2018

Ready Player One was a visual extravaganza with a story that gave it convenient excuses to feature pop-culture icons from the past thirty years. I enjoyed it a lot, but the most innovative part about the film was that zipper thing on an expandable suitcase which allowed the producers to say… Read more

Waiting One Day Friday July 20, 2012

Fifteen minutes before my "The Dark Knight Rises" showing began, people a few hundred miles away were being shot. A lone, masked gunman entered their theater through the emergency exit and proceed to murder twelve of them, wounding fifty others. It's all over the news, and it's horrific.  I believe… Read more

Lemony Netflix’s A Series of Unfortunate Events Wednesday January 18, 2017

Ordinarily I don’t review television programs, but there have been enough exceptions that I’m not breaking a rule at this point, you’re just experiencing another edge case. Netflix’s A Series of Unfortunate Events is proving to be delightful. I’ve watched the first four episodes, and I’m hooked. The series has two… Read more

Sketch Edition Pre-Ordering is Now Closed Tuesday July 23, 2013

Pre-orders for The Body Politic remain open, but we are now closing pre-orders for sketch editions. I'd write more, but I need to be writing other stuff. Also, there's a book review coming. Read more

Kong: Skull Island Friday March 10, 2017

I loved Kong: Skull Island. Even with burning eyes and a tension headache from twenty-two hours awake, I loved it¹.  When it’s out on Blu-Ray I will own it. I do not love this movie enough to marry it because that would be silly, but if I saw this movie in high… Read more

Spider-Man: Homecoming Monday July 17, 2017

I am quite glad to have a Spider-Man movie that doesn’t tell us the Uncle Ben story. Spider-Man: Homecoming clears my Threshold of Awesome, and comes in at #5 for me for the year. This film does what the best YA books do—it gives us a story in which young people… Read more

The Dark Tower Monday August 14, 2017

The Dark Tower took a little while deciding what kind of movie it wanted to be, but I enjoyed it. It’s not my favorite Idris Elba movie, and it’s not my favorite Stephen King movie, and it doesn’t clear my Threshold of Awesome, but I enjoyed it. I don’t have… Read more

Rampage Thursday April 19, 2018

Rampage was everything I wanted from a cinematic adaptation of one of my favorite video games. The writers did a fine job of splitting the difference between making the monsters our protagonists, and giving us human protagonists we can relate to. It’s worth seeing on the big screen, because big. I… Read more

Geostorm Tuesday October 24, 2017

Geostorm is to climate science what Armageddon was to rocket science. It’s also to rocket science what Armageddon was to rocket science, but if I keep going I’ll have described an entire course catalog. The message of the film, “let’s take care of our planet responsibly,” is delivered a little heavy-handedly, and… Read more

Knives Out Thursday December 26, 2019

I’m late to the party on this one, I know. Here’s a short summary: Knives Out is the most fun I’ve had at a murder mystery in recent memory, and I spent several minutes combing my memory for contenders. Sandra and I saw it together, and were both quite pleased… Read more

Frozen II Friday December 27, 2019

I don’t think Frozen II is going to get sing-along screenings, but I’m okay with that. To my mind, if there’s a weakness¹ with Frozen, it’s that one of the songs was so iconic, so memorable, and so infectious it unfairly raised the bar on the rest of the franchise.… Read more

Mary Poppins Returns Friday December 21, 2018

As a kid I watched the original Mary Poppins a great many times. The film is indelibly etched in my brain. Did adult me have doubts that Mary Poppins Returns could be worth my time? Of course. But Sandra and I both plunked down our ticket moneys and saw the movie on… Read more

Monday August 7, 2017

Sucker Punch Friday March 25, 2011

My friend Nick from Elitist Book Reviews was the first to link me to a Sucker Punch trailer, and since that moment it has been the movie I have been the most interested in seeing. I'm not going to review anybody else's review, but I do need to acknowledge the… Read more

I Am Back Tuesday September 7, 2010

I'm back from WorldCon. Here's a quick movie review for you. When you're stuck in an airplane seat in coach for 14 hours, spending 7 of them watching the Matrix trilogy straight through is surprisingly fun. Heresy to say this, I know, but those last two films hold up really… Read more

April 23, 2001 Monday April 23, 2001

Well, if you don't read Schlock over the weekend, you've already missed the first entry here at it's new home. Use the arrow buttons at the bottom of this page to go find it, and any other choice gems you may be looking for from my archive of musings, rants,… Read more

About Saturday January 14, 2006

Howard Tayler is the award-winning cartoonist responsible for Schlock Mercenary and the inventor of the chupaqueso. He's married, and lives in Orem, UT with his wife Sandra (who posts here from time to time) and his four children (who do not.) This site is where you'll find Howard's movie and… Read more