Wednesday October 13, 2004
Book 6: Resident Mad Scientist — Part II: Schlocktoberfest 2004
Note: Seventy-five years ago, Colonel Drake Pranger was a career soldier for the Daehren military. He had worked his way from infantry into artillery, and from there into heavy armor command. An absurdly pacifist movement on Daehre left him unemployed at age ninety, so he called a few friends, took out a small business loan, and purchased as much military surplus as he could. From there he struck outward across the galaxy making a very impressive name for himself and his company.

Ironically, within 15 years the pacifists on Daehre were paying him and his company three times the fully-burdened cost of regular government forces to put down a provincial rebellion. Pranger's Bangers won very handily, but also secretly sponsored a bloodless coup in which more sensible politicians (by Pranger's definition, anyway) were put into power.

When they offered him his old job back he politely declined, waiting until nobody was watching to use rude gestures. He then left Daehre for good.

That was 60 years ago. Colonel Pranger is now a hundred and sixty-five years old (we're using Earth years for your convenience). Don't go thinking he'll just drop dead any time soon, though. Daehremmah can live to be almost 300, assuming they don't play in traffic and don't become career mercenaries.

Transcript

TAGON: Petey couldn't find out who Phica is meeting with.  All he knew was that a lot of money was changing hands, so it's probably a local politico, nobility wannabe.  You know the type.

SCHLOCK: Yeah... the gonna-be-crispy type.

TEM PHICA: With Pranger's Bangers now on our payroll, government forces will fall like rotten timber.

NARRATOR: Then again, it might be the most famous mercenaries in the galaxy, with bandoliers full of 'return fire.'