NARRATOR: Oisri Dig Base, Security Wing...
TAGON: Lieutenant Pibald! Front-and-center!
PI: Sir! Yes sir!
TAGON: Give me your favorite scenario for taking this base intact.
PI: "Favorite," or "most likely?"
PI: See, I'm a little crazy, and my favorite scenario is really expensive.
TAGON: The Doctor briefs me weekly regarding exactly how crazy you are. I want your favorite.
PI: Smuggled nano-assemblers.
TAGON: Go on.
PI: Suborn Gavcorps supply chain somewhere, and smuggle milspec nano-assemblers into the base.
PI: Once you've sufficiently infiltrated the base, the assemblers link up to form killbots the size of cats. Sweep the base with extreme prejudice. If things go south, the 'bots detonate to deny the base to others.
PI: But the plan is absurd. Suborning Gavcorps would be terribly expensive, and no military will admit to having genocidal nanotech on hand.
TAGON: Thank you. Kevyn! How much is Oisri worth?
KEVYN: Sir, you expressly forbade me from collaborating to determine what Oisri is. How can I possibly put a price tag on it?
TAGON: Stop playing innocent. You're bored on patrol with a puzzle right in front of you. Also, I gave you an order with loopholes in it.
Now tell me, how much would an unscrupulous government invest to permanently secure Oisri for themselves?
KEVYN: A fleet. Maybe two. Maybe half Earth's annual GDP if they had firm data.
PI: With an enemy budget that big, sir, I'd have to be crazy to work on your side.
TAGON: Then it's a good thing you're not on your meds this week, Lieutenant.