NARRATOR: Zipping toward Plute Plaza...
SCHLOCK: The scooter is cool, but I want a gun.
SORLIE: Yes, we need weapons. I'm still trying to figure something out.
SCHLOCK: My plasgun lets me zip around like this, but it lets me shoot things at the same time.
This scooter flies better, but it's missing all the buttons for shooting.
SCHLOCK: So, sweet ride, lousy weapon.
SORLIE: I get it! Now keep quiet unless you have a solution to...
... Huh. A lousy weapon.
SORLIE: If we override the safeties we could crash into... No, we'd need...
SORLIE: Chester, can you rewrite the brains in these scooters and turn them into kinetic weapons?
CHESTER: *on comm* I can do that to any vehicle, assuming one of you voids the warranty on the synthetic intelligence with a hammer and a nodejack.
SORLIE: Is there a Hypernode Hut around here? Also, what's our budget look like?
CHESTER: Your budget for this project is, and I'm quoting General Bala-Amin, "all the money."
SORLIE: Spend it. I need four hammers, a sack of nodejacks, and as many vehicles as the local dealers will sell you.
NARRATOR: Six minutes later...
car SI: Aiiee ow ow my warran—
SFX: WHAM
car SI: kzzzztt
SCHLOCK: I'm doing brain surgery on a moving car while riding inside it.
Today might turn out okay after all.