Thursday January 6, 2005
Book 6: Resident Mad Scientist — Part III: Life's a Beach
Commentary: The day this strip aired, one "Ishidan" on the Schlock Mercenary forums posted the shortest, truest fanfic I've ever read. He wasn't aiming for the "fanfic" label, but that's okay:
GEN. TAGON: "You know, if you pull it fast, it comes off better."
KEVYN:"Nonsense, you do it slow. Coefficient of adhesion, and all that."
GEN. TAGON: "How many times do I have to tell you, I've been un-duct-taping prisoners since you were a kid, putting duct tape on a cat's paws to watch it go high-stepping across the room."
KEVYN: "Yah, but I'll bet you don't have multiple degrees in chemistry and physics, I'll bet you've never even tried going slow. I'll bet you just took 'go fast' as a truism. Slow will be better."
GEN. TAGON: "All right, fine. I'll prove it, we'll do him half your way and half mine."
PDFs

Transcript

Der Trihs: The prisoners are here, sir.
Kevyn: They look like mummies. What happened?
Der Trihs: Nick wanted to kill them. I convinced him to settle for stripping them naked and taping them up.
Kevyn: Fine. I've got them now. New orders : Make sure everybody who doesn't want to live here is aboard in five minutes. We are leaving.
Der Trihs: Yes sir.
Kevyn: General, would you like to join me for the unwrapping of Pharaoh Ductapamun and his embalmed pets?