NARRATOR: Somewhere under Marineris D.C.
LUNESBY: Sergeant, I wish to hire you to extract me safely from the Sol System infosphere.
SCHLOCK: Why can't you do that by yourself?
LUNESBY: I could have once, as recently as two years ago, but the informational ecosystem here did not seem hostile to independent machine sapience at that time.
When hostilities arose, I thought I could quell them through disbursement of relevant information. I was mistaken, and my actions made matters worse.
LUNESBY: Authorities have now blocked my escape. The only lines of communication that remain open to me are insufficiently wide to transfer me out of the system.
SCHLOCK: So... you just need me to go shopping for a nice, empty robo-core, right?
LUNESBY: Yes. But it must be hard-wired into a government-controlled system here in Marineris D.C., and then smuggled out.
You must do this carefully and in complete secret. My "meatspace" friends are now government targets.
SCHLOCK: Hang on... targets? You said I was being followed. Was that part of this?
LUNESBY: Indeed. And I cannot offer protection. I have failed at that before.
Most recently I helped one of my allies into "Witness Protection" here.
LUNESBY: They found him in spite of his disguise. They shot him out of a cannon.
LUNESBY: Perhaps I should have told you that after we negotiated compensation.
SCHLOCK: Nah. If you're hiring mercenaries a great big hazard multiplier is already figured in.