Sunday March 7, 2010
Book 11: Massively Parallel — Part IV: Mallcop Command

Transcript

NARRATOR: Mall-One Galleria, Deck 3, after hours...

SHODAN: Sir, I've been thinking about that not-a-shoplifter ninja.

From the way witnesses describe his traversal, I suspect he had Parkata Urbatsu training.

CAPTAIN TAGON: Parkata ...?

SHODAN: Parkata Urbatsu.  The katas, or practiced forms, positions, and styles of urban movement.

SHODAN: It grew out of the ancient disciplines of Parkour, Urbobatics, and something called Youtubing.

It is a martial art that focuses on both pursuit and escape in developed environments, with an eye towards the aesthetic.

SHODAN: Whether you play the pursuer or the pursued, your goal is not just the completion of the chase.

Your goal is to have your opponents and any bystanders stop in awe as they ask themselves "How did he do that?"

CAPTAIN TAGON: Okay, he had flashy martial arts training.  So?

SHODAN: So...  I think that in order to catch this guy, we need to think like him.  I want permission to give the troops a crash course in Parkata Urbatsu.

CAPTAIN TAGON: Let me get this straight:  after regular shopping hours, you want to drill everybody on that jumping, flipping, tumbling stuff?

SHODAN: Yes Sir.

CAPTAIN TAGON: Here in the Galleria, I assume?

SHODAN: Wide variety of terrain, Sir.  Also, it's large enough that the rotating reference frame comes into play.

CAPTAIN TAGON: The troops will be more enthusiastic if you don't call it a crash course.