NARRATOR: Sergeant Schlock has been falling for twenty-seven-point-seven seconds and is dropping at two-hundred-and-fifty-two meters per second.
The bottom of this hole is twenty-seven hundred meters (and just nine seconds) away.
SFX: THOOOOOM
Fortunately, his plasgun is providing thirty-two meters per second of acceleration.
NARRATOR: Subtract local gravity, and he's breaking his fall by just over twenty-two meters per second for every second of thrust.
SCHLOCK: YEEE-HAH!
NARRATOR: If his plasgun had atmosphere with which to recharge, he would not need to worry about impact.
SCHLOCK: Well, crap.
SFX: Oooommmth
NARRATOR: He also wouldn't need to worry about the vacuum.