Sunday February 11, 2001
Book 1: The Tub of Happiness — Bombs Ahoy
It's Bonus strip time!

Dennis Stout is turning 15. He's one of my biggest fans (and certainly the biggest fan I've actually met.) This is his present.

PDFs

Transcript

Narrator: The reverend and the doctor are trapped in an orbital elevator, and won't be free for another 14 hours.
Narrator: They are both young, attractive, intelligent, and single. What will they do to pass the time?
Reverend: I've been meaning to ask you a rather personal question, doctor.
Reverend: How did a beautiful woman like yourself end up with the name "Edward?"
Bunni: It's a long story.
Reverend: We're not short on time.
Narrator: They'll tell their life stories, naturally. Don't give me that look. What would you do?
Narrator: Edward Bunnigus relates the story behind her given name:
Bunni: Well, to start with, both of my parents were idiots.
Bunni: I love 'em, but between the two of them they could come up with maybe 110 uncontested I.Q. points.
Sign: Charles Bunnigus 02-2168-37Jane Bunnigus 02-2167-3
Bunni: Earth's "Gene pool improvement act" forbade them from reproducing naturally. "Evolution through legislative selection." is the term the gene-pool micromanagers use.
Bunni: So, my dad went to gene-be-tweaked and asked for a standard upgrade package. He and mom agreed that they wanted a smart, capable girl.
Sign: GENE the children
Charles Bunnigus: Yeah, start wif da egzotick danser fingy, den make her reeely smart.
GeneBeTweaked Sales: You are a man of rare taste, mister bunnigus.
Bunni: I was cooked up in a simuterus, just in case there was any chance my mother could pass on her defects via the womb. They took no chances, and so I was "Born" in a lab.
Bunni: The lab put a wrist-tag on me to indicate what genetic packages I was carrying. My package was "Exotic Dancer-210-A/X."
Bunni: On my wrist it was abbreviated to "ED-210." Unfortunate nomenclature, at best.
Charles Bunnigus: Honey, dey named da baby already for us. It sez here her name is "Ed."
Jane Bunnigus: Daz nodda prittinuff name...
Jane Bunnigus: We'n call'er "Edward."
Bunni: What a memory...
Footnote: It's Bonus strip time!Dennis Stout is turning 15. He's one of my biggest fans (and certainly the biggest fan I've actually met.) This is his present.
Tagon: Happy Birthday, Dennis. You can get a vehicular learner's permit now!
Breya: And we thought we'd suit up in honor of the occasion... Just to be safe.
Footnote: The rest of you out there might want to get some body armor too. And that's all I have to say on the matter.