Sunday December 3, 2000
Book 1: The Tub of Happiness — Bureaucracy Bountiful
And now, for some quick Q&A about terraforming Luna:

Q: What does "terraforming" mean?
A: Beat it, kid. This discussion is only going to get worse.

Q: How can they possibly have a breatheable atmosphere with such low gravity?
A: It's about six times as deep as earth's, so the pressure at sea-level is about right. Even in the upper atmosphere, the escape velocity of the air is much higher than the average molecular velocity of the gas, so very, very little air is lost.

Q: Won't they get some nasty katabatic winds with the long lunar day?
A: Where'd you learn the word "katabatic," kid?

Q: In school.
A: Yeah, right. You read too much, nerd-boy. Anyway... the long lunar day isn't a problem, because the terraformers spun Luna up a bit for a nice 24-hour day. This solved all kinds of ecological challenges as well.

Q: "Spun Luna up a bit?" You make it sound like it was easy.
A: Shut up. It's just energy, and by the 22nd century there will be plenty of that. Trust me.

Q: So, with air, and low gravity, can people on the moon fly by flapping their arms?
A: "Flapping their arms..." Holy son-of-a crap. No way. You'd need an armspan of about 5 meters, and feathers. Do you have feathers?

Q: No, but if they can genetically engineer elephants to be smart, how come they haven't made people with feathers so they can fly on the moon?
A: Because they're not stupid.

Q: I'm not stupid, I'm just asking questions!
A: Not anymore, you're not. We're done now.

Q: But I've got more qu--

Hats

Transcript

Narrator: Luna: Earth's only natural satellite, referred to as 'The Moon' until 2127 when the "People for Differentiating Between our Planet and a Bare Butt" managed to make the term unpopular with their "Don't be mean" campaign.
Narrator: It's a green place, with an atmosphere several times deeper than Earth's.
Narrator: It's also got the longest standing government of any human world.
Sign: E Pluribus Lunum Established A.D. 2102
Narrator: It's arguably the tallest standing government, too, thanks to Luna's record-setting open-air skyscrapers.
Narrator: Luna's low gravity makes it a very popular resort destination.
Narrator: (You do not need to pay someone else to carry your bags for you.)
Narrator: On Luna, like everywhere else, it's easy to pick out the tourists.
Schlock: Look at me! I'm Superman!
Brad: Wheee!
Random Crowd:
Der Trihs:
Thurl:
Kevyn:
Bunni:
Tagon:
Breya:
Shep:
Nick:
EMH:
Footnote: And now, for some quick Q&A about terraforming Luna:Q: What does "terraforming" mean?A: Beat it, kid. This discussion is only going to get worse.Q: How can they possibly have a breatheable atmosphere with such low gravity?A: It's about six times as deep as earth's, so the pressure at sea-level is about right. Even in the upper atmosphere, the escape velocity of the air is much higher than the average molecular velocity of the gas, so very, very little air is lost.Q: Won't they get some nasty katabatic winds with the long lunar day?A: Where'd you learn the word "katabatic," kid?Q: In school.A: Yeah, right. You read too much, nerd-boy. Anyway... the long lunar day isn't a problem, because the terraformers spun Luna up a bit for a nice 24-hour day. This solved all kinds of ecological challenges as well.Q: "Spun Luna up a bit?" You make it sound like it was easy.A: Shut up. It's just energy, and by the 22nd century there will be plenty of that. Trust me.Q: So, with air, and low gravity, can people on the moon fly by flapping their arms?A: "Flapping their arms..." Holy son-of-a crap. No way. You'd need an armspan of about 5 meters, and feathers. Do you have feathers?Q: No, but if they can genetically engineer elephants to be smart, how come they haven't made people with feathers so they can fly on the moon?A: Because they're not stupid.Q: I'm not stupid, I'm just asking questions!A: Not anymore, you're not. We're done now.Q: But I've got more qu--